I send five postcards every week, with no expectation of replies. I call it my "paper route," because I toss my paper over a virtual fence and never collect anything tangible. The people on my paper route are isolated: by age, by circumstance, whatever. It started when my grandfather had to go to a nursing home. He hated it, but he loved my postcards. "Goofy" he took to calling me. Then his sister. Then another relative's brother in a nursing home. Now, a long ago coworker, a Christmas card friend, who'd become the caretaker for her husband, an aunt who is housebound and another who had to go to a nursing home and hates it, a friend who had a stroke, and the paralyzed and brain damaged brother of a coworker. Even with my more usual three cards a week, I've long since had to make the postcard with index cards, magazine photos and dollar store glue. Why do I choose to do this? True, it's an easy way to feel virtuous. It's an easier resolution to keep than learning French or losing weight. Mostly, though, I do it because it's a win-win-win. 1) The recipients love getting real mail. My great aunt asked me what she'd done to deserve these cards. "Everything and nothing," I told her. One of the few "new" things the brain damaged recipient remembers from the last 20 years is my name, though we have never met. 2) The caretakers of those living in institutions see regular evidence that someone on the outside values this person. Caretakers are human too, and this can only positively influence their interactions with their patients. 3) Me. I benefit. Every week I must sit quietly, reflect upon the previous week and find something cheery and of interest to three to five people. Sometimes pickings are slim, so everyone gets almost exactly the same note. Sometimes not. Doesn't matter; we all win. Kindness wins.
I too had a letter-writing mom. She wrote me all the time in her neat print, sending articles she thought I’d love to read. Little did she know that as a law student the last thing I wanted to read for fun was the NY Times column called At The Bar and what I would have loved would have been a People Magazine. She wrote one of her dear friends a postcard every week for decades. I miss her and her letters.
Thank you for the motherly reflections.... my mom died in December, so I am still in the disbelief of it all. I cherish everything with her handwriting.
The SCOTUS news of the day is somehow both gobsmacking and unsurprising. Definitely time to soften the edges with some baked goods.
I got a sugar-spike just reading this yummy recipe. Or maybe it was excitement over the hand mixer.
My mom died just a month before yours. Stupidly, I had no idea how profoundly it would affect me. Now I seem to be unconsciously re-creating her in myself. Glad to go bra-less since I left an office job, I found myself the other day getting fitted for a bra and buying a couple of lovely pricey ones, just as my mother did. Oy, and nevermind the Freudian implications!
I also lost my mother in 2019 (although I think covid would have been so difficult for her—the isolation would have been dreadful). I still have her letters to me—filled, as yours were, with clippings, news, advice (which I seldom heeded, but still) and love. I even have some of my letters to her, never sent. I miss her every day. May your mother's memory be a blessing to you.
Love the recipe, can’t wait to try. My mom wrote letters, too. She did well in penmanship so her writing was lovely. We were a military family, lived far from home in the days when even a long distance phone call was far too expensive and reserved for major holidays. So she wrote. She’s been gone for 25+ yrs, I was never able to write like she did. Thanks for sharing and the reminiscence.
I write tons of letters and cards and have a number of faithful correspondents. Some of us are into letters, some are more into cards and others are postcard people. It's fun to plan stationery/card choices and to keep up with new stamps coming in at the post office!
I write letters and postcards. In fact I’d be delighted to write you a letter.... and I’ll let my 6 yo g’son choose the stamp, since I love stamps and have many.
I can include a recipe.
Just find a way to give me an address
My mother wrote my father everyday whenever he was deployed, on little sheets of blue paper. We have the letters.
My grandfather made an album for me of all the postcards I sent him the year I was in college abroad.
My son’s nickname in army basic training was “postcard” because I wrote him every day.
I wrote both kids everyday for there first months in college.
There is nothing like a hand written letter or note except the thrill of finding one in your mailbox. I still write letters although I rarely if ever receive them. It doesn’t matter, the stationery, the way the pen glides, the ink dries, and the colorful array of stamps to choose from are all part of the delight. Reading a letter with a cup of tea and a home baked cookie is my idea of heaven.
I got very into letter writing during the lockdown part of the pandemic, encouraged by Rachel Syme at the New Yorker. It’s been lovely to reconnect with that tradition
Thank you for sharing about your mother, this was a beautiful post. Sounds like she was very special! My mother also had a penchant for sending cards especially. Hope you and your family enjoy every bit of those “nem nems” this weekend!
Instead of M&Ms, I added lemon zest, orange marmelade, and sweet ginger bits (from Penzey's Spices); let the dough chill overnight since I have no energy in the evenings due to long covid; and baked them just now - yum! Half of the unbaked cookies are now in the freezer to bake later; I hope that works out ok. It did for your bourbon cookies.
I do write letters and mostly get none in return. My younger sister will occasionally write me a letter.
As for ghostly encounters, I have had quite a few. Even lived in a haunted house in MD. I love the experiences and seek them out.
We have a similar way of making cookies. I almost always put whole wheat flour in with the all purpose flour. I like the taste it gives, along with the fiber. I will try this recipe out as an ice cream pie. My husband will love it , minus the M&Ms.
I send five postcards every week, with no expectation of replies. I call it my "paper route," because I toss my paper over a virtual fence and never collect anything tangible. The people on my paper route are isolated: by age, by circumstance, whatever. It started when my grandfather had to go to a nursing home. He hated it, but he loved my postcards. "Goofy" he took to calling me. Then his sister. Then another relative's brother in a nursing home. Now, a long ago coworker, a Christmas card friend, who'd become the caretaker for her husband, an aunt who is housebound and another who had to go to a nursing home and hates it, a friend who had a stroke, and the paralyzed and brain damaged brother of a coworker. Even with my more usual three cards a week, I've long since had to make the postcard with index cards, magazine photos and dollar store glue. Why do I choose to do this? True, it's an easy way to feel virtuous. It's an easier resolution to keep than learning French or losing weight. Mostly, though, I do it because it's a win-win-win. 1) The recipients love getting real mail. My great aunt asked me what she'd done to deserve these cards. "Everything and nothing," I told her. One of the few "new" things the brain damaged recipient remembers from the last 20 years is my name, though we have never met. 2) The caretakers of those living in institutions see regular evidence that someone on the outside values this person. Caretakers are human too, and this can only positively influence their interactions with their patients. 3) Me. I benefit. Every week I must sit quietly, reflect upon the previous week and find something cheery and of interest to three to five people. Sometimes pickings are slim, so everyone gets almost exactly the same note. Sometimes not. Doesn't matter; we all win. Kindness wins.
I too had a letter-writing mom. She wrote me all the time in her neat print, sending articles she thought I’d love to read. Little did she know that as a law student the last thing I wanted to read for fun was the NY Times column called At The Bar and what I would have loved would have been a People Magazine. She wrote one of her dear friends a postcard every week for decades. I miss her and her letters.
Ach, she raised a great daughter, eh?
wonderful post Marissa! i am so curious re the letters from your mom that remain unopened.
will you open them at some point? i too have saved all the letters from my parents and treasure them.
your mother was a gem!
I know I will one day, when the mood hits just right, if you know what I mean.
Thank you for the motherly reflections.... my mom died in December, so I am still in the disbelief of it all. I cherish everything with her handwriting.
The SCOTUS news of the day is somehow both gobsmacking and unsurprising. Definitely time to soften the edges with some baked goods.
I got a sugar-spike just reading this yummy recipe. Or maybe it was excitement over the hand mixer.
My mom died just a month before yours. Stupidly, I had no idea how profoundly it would affect me. Now I seem to be unconsciously re-creating her in myself. Glad to go bra-less since I left an office job, I found myself the other day getting fitted for a bra and buying a couple of lovely pricey ones, just as my mother did. Oy, and nevermind the Freudian implications!
Do you think you will open your mom’s letters at some point?
I also lost my mother in 2019 (although I think covid would have been so difficult for her—the isolation would have been dreadful). I still have her letters to me—filled, as yours were, with clippings, news, advice (which I seldom heeded, but still) and love. I even have some of my letters to her, never sent. I miss her every day. May your mother's memory be a blessing to you.
Love the recipe, can’t wait to try. My mom wrote letters, too. She did well in penmanship so her writing was lovely. We were a military family, lived far from home in the days when even a long distance phone call was far too expensive and reserved for major holidays. So she wrote. She’s been gone for 25+ yrs, I was never able to write like she did. Thanks for sharing and the reminiscence.
I write tons of letters and cards and have a number of faithful correspondents. Some of us are into letters, some are more into cards and others are postcard people. It's fun to plan stationery/card choices and to keep up with new stamps coming in at the post office!
And you, Marissa, are a new-fangled old-fashioned girl!!
I write letters and postcards. In fact I’d be delighted to write you a letter.... and I’ll let my 6 yo g’son choose the stamp, since I love stamps and have many.
I can include a recipe.
Just find a way to give me an address
My mother wrote my father everyday whenever he was deployed, on little sheets of blue paper. We have the letters.
My grandfather made an album for me of all the postcards I sent him the year I was in college abroad.
My son’s nickname in army basic training was “postcard” because I wrote him every day.
I wrote both kids everyday for there first months in college.
There is nothing like a hand written letter or note except the thrill of finding one in your mailbox. I still write letters although I rarely if ever receive them. It doesn’t matter, the stationery, the way the pen glides, the ink dries, and the colorful array of stamps to choose from are all part of the delight. Reading a letter with a cup of tea and a home baked cookie is my idea of heaven.
I got very into letter writing during the lockdown part of the pandemic, encouraged by Rachel Syme at the New Yorker. It’s been lovely to reconnect with that tradition
Thank you for sharing about your mother, this was a beautiful post. Sounds like she was very special! My mother also had a penchant for sending cards especially. Hope you and your family enjoy every bit of those “nem nems” this weekend!
Oh I so want to make these cookies. I have plenty of ‘vegan butter,’ aka margarine. But what is a decent vegan replacement for the cream cheese?
Never mind, I found a recipe for vegan cream cheese from cashews.
Instead of M&Ms, I added lemon zest, orange marmelade, and sweet ginger bits (from Penzey's Spices); let the dough chill overnight since I have no energy in the evenings due to long covid; and baked them just now - yum! Half of the unbaked cookies are now in the freezer to bake later; I hope that works out ok. It did for your bourbon cookies.
I do write letters and mostly get none in return. My younger sister will occasionally write me a letter.
As for ghostly encounters, I have had quite a few. Even lived in a haunted house in MD. I love the experiences and seek them out.
We have a similar way of making cookies. I almost always put whole wheat flour in with the all purpose flour. I like the taste it gives, along with the fiber. I will try this recipe out as an ice cream pie. My husband will love it , minus the M&Ms.