What I Tried At Trader Joe's

More Pulitzer-worthy investigative journalism from me

Every weekday afternoon I drive my son to crew team practice, which means every day I drive past a Trader Joe’s.

Like the famed Lorelei of the Rhine, Trader Joe’s lures me in with its seductive song of time-saving frozen delicacies, bouquets of flowers to give to my ever-deserving self and chocolate-covered things that are the reward for shopping and, key: can be eaten on the car ride home.

However, insteaad of the Rhine, it’s ever-jammed Route 3 in New Jersey and the sirens are actually living in my head and teasing me making shopping lists of things I must, must have.

Fun fact: Geoffrey Owens, who starred on The Cosby Show as Dr. Huxtable’s son-in-law, worked at our Trader Joe’s until some idjit took a photo and job-shamed him. (Don’t despair: the story has a nice ending).

In my recent wanderings up and down the aisles, I’ve discovered some seasonal delights worth eating. If I share them with you it makes all my visits work visits, see?

Here’s what I tried last week:

Caramel Sea Salt Baking Chips:

They taste like a fancy version of Nestle’s butterscotch chips, which is a compliment in case you’re wondering.
Try replacing the chocolate chips in a favorite chocolate chip cookie recipe with these. Melt the chips with a tablespoon of neutral oil (to keep the chips from seizing) and dip pumpkin or gingerbread cookies.

My take: These will sell out as fast as they can stock the shelves with them come holiday baking season.

Brussels Sprouts and Bacon Ravioli

: Stuffed with shredded Brussels sprouts, smoky bacon and caramelized onions and only $3.99 a box, I am so happy when I remember I have a box in the fridge. I pour a little of the nice olive oil over them and grate a generous portion Parmesan and Romano cheeses. (There are v. good vegetarian friendly options, too, incl a cauliflower-filled version.)

My take: Buy them. Freeze some. Leave some for me.

Horseradish-Chive Potato Chips:

I ran into TJ’s to buy one thing and promised I would buy nothing else. This is scientifically impossible and I grabbed these on my way to the check out and tried them when I got to the car. After a few, I had to put them on the backseat of the car so I wouldn’t demolish them on the way home. They are salty, have a reasonable horseradish kick and will be the cocktail nibble of choice in the Rothkopf-Bates home this holiday season

My take: A bowl of these chips and a Manhattan is how I plan to spend Election Night. I will be hiding under the bed, btw.

There will be a recipe tomorrow! Look out for it!

Tell me: Do you go to Trader Joe’s? Is there something you cannot leave without? Have you ever been able to go into the store and buy just one thing? Who are you? What other superpowers do you have? Also: What do you think is blecch at Trader Joe’s?

PS:Bosco loves the chicken jerky.