Biscuits for Bosco

...and Ponzu, and All Good Dogs Everywhere

My dog Bosco recently wrote an article for May issue of Bone Appetit magazine about dog biscuits, which I’ve excerpted from below:

“…so what if humanz has thumbs? Why should that entitle them to alls of the cookies? I live with kind humanz. They are good with the scritches and very generous with the scratches. They let me run in woods and roll in deer poop, although lady human insists on washing me after, which, I don’t have to tell you, is a complete disgrace.

But I digress. Or as I like to say: SQUIRREL! Anyhooz, this humanz is always making cookies. Like always. And she gives me NONE of them. This is cruelty and yes, I haz reported it to the ASPCA, so don’t @ me. She said it’s for my health. I say they are greedy.

And I set out to make my own. I have eaten Trader Joe’s biscuits, Milk Bones biscuits and perhaps I once had a human peanut butter cookie that happened to fall on the floor. My exceedingly large, floofy paw had nothing to do with it. Nothing. I set out to make a cookie that would surpass all these. My friend Ponzu tried them and he agreed they were, I think the word is, fantastics.

Supposably, you are not supposed to eat more than 1 or 2 a day. What humanz don’t see, howevers….

Ponzu’s human made dog biscuits for him with this cute dog biscuit mold. The human’s name is Jennifer Taub. She was on The Secret Life of Cookies podcast with My Human where they baked these biscuits for us.

Bosco’s Finest Biscuits

What You’ll Need:

2 cups flour (I use whole wheat, cuz healthy)

1/2 cup oats

1/2 tsp salt

2 large eggs

1/2 cup pumpkin puree (NOT pumpkin pie filling).

1/2 cup peanut butter (Plz check label and make sure there is no Xylitol in it, as they makes us dogs v. v. sick)

Water as necessary

What You’ll Do:

Ask human to turn on oven to 325 degrees and line cookie sheets with parchment paper. They should then put all the ingredients into a bowl and mix until all is mixed up. If it is too dry, make them add water a tablespoon at a time. While they are mixing, insist by whining, drooling and panting heavily on their leg until they give you the peanut butter-covered spoon to lick. Your human should flour a surface well. They should roll out the dough until it’s, oh, about 1/2 inch thick and use a cookie cutter to make pretty shapes. My human made heart shapes. I think she is sweet on me. Bake the cookies until they are done…which means like 15 to 25 minutes until they are dry and feel firm to the touch. You should eat them all within the week. Or refrigerate for longer storage. As if.

This is my author photo. Do you like it?